We all reach points or find aspects of our lives where we feel we’re stuck in a rut. I’m sure you can relate. It’s the feeling where each day seems the same, where nothing is new or exciting anymore.
Feeling stuck can happen to any of us, even those with what may seem like glamorous lives or exciting jobs.
Using myself as an example, as an emergency physician you would think each shift would be one dose of adrenaline to the next. You know, just like on television where you are saving lives left and right, and the On-Call Room is more a studio for softcore porn rather than a place to wait for new patients. Trust me, the true day-to-day of most physicians or healthcare workers is a far cry from the never-ending drama of shows like Grey’s Anatomy.
I too have felt stuck.
How do We get Stuck?
As I discuss in Stop Sabotaging Your Future, feeling stuck is a natural consequence of our desire for safety, security, and comfort. We can suffer from anxiety and stress when faced with new tasks or situations.
The inclination is to settle for the mediocre job we have now, or the lackluster relationship, because it feels comfortable. Consequently, our day-to-day lives may not be exhilarating, but at least they’re familiar. To step outside of our comfort zones and explore new things can impose a sense of fear and dread. This is the result of our normal response to protect ourselves from stress and harm.
The price for trying to escape the stress engendered by exploring something new is boredom at best, and despair at worst. We can ultimately start to lose the courage to change our lives for the better.
How I Realized I was Stuck
Recognizing you are stuck is the first step.
Again, using myself as an example, I noticed that the job I had for eight years wasn’t doing it for me anymore. It was difficult to realize at first. I generally loved the people I worked with, the environment was comfortable, and I felt like a valuable part of the team. However, I noticed that what should be an exciting place (I mean it is the emergency room) started to feel mundane. Shifts would absolutely drag on, even when the department was busy! All the complaints patients came in with had been heard before or seemed to blend in with one another. I felt like I could walk the place blindfolded and still do my job. It was nice and comfortable, like wearing some old shoes. The downside of this comfort was that I was, well… stuck with old shoes.
I think it really hit me when I noticed that I often would find my eyes rolling as I overheard the chatter from the nurses at the workstation. I absolutely loved the nurses I worked with, but we had a lot of new nurses (thanks Covid!) constantly coming into the department. As a result, I would hear them comment with excitement about the different cases we had each shift.
“Can you believe his hemoglobin was that low?” Or “Have you ever seen an alcohol that high?”, were the types of excited comments that would create a buzz among the newly minted nurses. Under my breath to each comment was a “yes, yes, and another yes,” as I struggled to move my eyes back to their forward position.
While I found it difficult to join in their enthusiasm, I reminded myself that I too was once excited about these critical cases. Now, however, they just seemed like another day at the grind.
How I Got Unstuck, and How You Can Too!
I decided something needed to change. I could continue to drudge it out every day at a job that had its benefits, but no longer felt exciting. Or I could challenge myself and move somewhere new.
I found out that there was another hospital in my area that was looking for an ER physician. I took a leap and applied for the job. After getting the job, part of me was excited. Another part of me was admittedly anxious and even a bit terrified. I was going from a place I knew forward and back, to a place full of unknowns. All the “what ifs” darkened my horizon.
What if someone comes in with something I can’t handle? What if I don’t fit in with the staff? What if I don’t know where something is or how to do something? All of a sudden, the excuses were piling up for me to not make the move and stay within my comfort zone.
Fortunately, with a little bravery, I was able to move past the negative self-talk and start working at the new location.
I am only a few months in, but I have definitely noticed a difference. Things seem exciting again. The patient population is a little more challenging, and it has been great getting to meet new people. Time seems to move faster now when I am at work as well. I can’t predict the future or say for certain how long I will stay at this new job, but for the first time in a long time, I feel challenged and fulfilled.
Now, it’s Your Turn!
The purpose of this blog is not to drone on about myself, but rather to help you. I hope my story at least illustrated a situation to which you can relate. Again, this doesn’t just apply to feeling stuck in a career but can apply to our relationships, as well as any goals we may have for ourselves (health, hobbies, households, etc.).
Here are two simple steps to get started.
- Do some thinking and find out where you feel stuck.
- List some changes you can make easily to fix it.
If it’s your relationship, then maybe it’s time to break up your routine by going somewhere new. Exploring a new hobby or activity together. Perhaps, it’s finding a new partner altogether.
If it’s your health, then maybe you need to change your diet. Try some new exercise. Talk with your doctor.
Or maybe you just feel blah and stuck in your life in general. In that case, there are so many ways to introduce some spice. You can move to a new location, try to meet new people, take up a hobby, or find a way to introduce variety into your daily routine (mixing up your route to work, taking on new responsibilities at the office, trying cooking, or eating new foods).
The point is that the feeling of being stuck only lasts if you are resistant to trying new things.
Finally, once you have resolved to introduce change into your life, be ready to rid yourself of the fear and anxiety that accompany the transition. Like I had to do when switching jobs. There will almost invariably be voices in your head that will try to dissuade you from abandoning the status quo. Don’t listen to them.
Instead, focus on all the potential benefits that can be gained from the change you wish to make. Write them down even, so that you have a list you can refer to when the negative thoughts resurface.
You can do this, just be brave and believe in yourself.
What Makes you Feel Stuck?
I hope you found this post helpful. If so, I would love to hear your feedback. Tell me about any situations in which you feel stuck. Or, if you have your own techniques for keeping life interesting.
For more advice on how to get unstuck, or simply how to improve your life in general, please read my book. I go into a lot more detail about what we talked about here. I also include other strategies for making the most of your life.
As always, don’t forget to leave a good review on Amazon.
Until the next post!